# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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