He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
