i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
