so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
