Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
My hand turned me down
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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