I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize