I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
