i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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