Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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