im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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