I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
