and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
