Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
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considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
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There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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