there was a trapeze. enough said
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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