she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
