I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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