Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
