There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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