so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
