Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize