everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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