i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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