ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
