My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize