My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
