I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
bring money and cleavage
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
