I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
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There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
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You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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