whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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