I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
NoShamevember. You game?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
