No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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