This is not my ceiling
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Randomize
