1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
