sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
