so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
