Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
