Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
