is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
