I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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