haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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