i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
