I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
