Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
