real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
