Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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