yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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