You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
