hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
