ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
