I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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