Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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