i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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