my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
