I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
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