Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
