glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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