Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize