he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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