Need sex. Gaining weight.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
So many bounce houses so little time
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize